Retention
This is part two of my series on the Washington Post Article.
I recently wrote a post entitled “Why do People Leave the LDS Church?” I included a link to posts written by John Dehlin on what his opinion is as far as why people may leave. He suggests that many people don’t know the history of the church and Joseph Smith and other leaders upon being baptized. They feel lied to essentially that controversial issues in Mormon history aren’t discussed during the missionary discussions, etc. This could very well be an issue.
The Washington Post mentions missionaries baptizing people after only attending church a few times or even one time. There could be much discussion alone on these topics such as are the missionaries being pressured to baptize too quickly? If so, where is the pressure coming from and why?
The third possibility is that we as members are not “taking care of the flock.” We aren’t doing our home-teaching or fellowshipping new members. Along these lines perhaps it is that new members of the LDS faith have a very high standard of living that goes with membership and people may get discouraged and leave. In this case perhaps members could do something to help them feel more loved and welcome.
The fourth possibility is that it’s just plain hard to be a Mormon and keep the commandments, etc. and people just choose to leave.
It is indeed a complicated issue and I would love to hear what people have to say about issues on retention.
Grace for Grace 
10 comments
Comments feed for this article
February 19, 2008 at 2:09 am
je
It seems to me that issues with historical facts are often discussed on the internet (John Dehlin) but I have never heard that as a reason from any of the many “less active” people I know or have dealt with over the years. Maybe there is a difference between people who actually formally leave the church and those who are simply not participating, but IME, the vast majority of the non-participating seem to be where they are at because of lifestyle issues or having been offended by someone or something in the past.
LikeLike
February 19, 2008 at 4:04 am
Mormon Heretic
How about a 5th option–All of the above.
Personally, I think people should go to church for a few months before they get baptized. We’ve all had the experience of a pushy salesman, pressuring us to a sale. However, we’re usually much happier with our decision when we’ve had sufficient time to think about it.
Where is the pressure coming from, you ask? When the discussions state you are supposed to ask for baptism in the second discussion (at least they did when I was on a mission), then I would call that a feature of the system. Who ultimately approves the discussions? Hint–it’s not the mission president, though mission presidents can have a great influence.
I think all of the reasons you listed play a big part of retention, so I hesitate to say the first is the only issue, but in my view, it is one of the most important issues. We can all do a better job of fellowshipping and home/visiting teaching.
And yes, it can be hard to be a Mormon, but it’s also hard to be a Catholic. Some go to mass every day, not just once a week. In that sense, we’ve got it easy, but then again, mass usually doesn’t take a 3 hour block of time. And praying to Allah 5 times a day, and fasting every day during the month of Ramadan can also be taxing. No holiday celebrations or blood transfusions for JW’s, and no levi’s for good Baptists–it can be hard to adhere strongly to any religion. We certainly have no monopoly on it. That’s why it is hard for a convert to any religion to remain active.
LikeLike
February 19, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Jettboy
What about retention for the JWs, supposedly outnumbering in new membership? Perhaps we should study our rivals, if a larger number remain active, to see what is making them more affective. One thing I have noticed is the message differences. For most Christians, including Mormonism, the message is about working hard(even for those “faith only” believers) for the next life. Although heavily leaning toward the Last Days, the JWs message is filled with how to find hope in the here and now; even if it is critical of “outsider’s” ideas in the process.
Other things I have noticed with the JWs that is different is that they don’t care much about what others think of them. What they care about is a true relationship with G-d through their theology. Politics, the ultimate acceptance game, is almost never entertained. It might make them hardly influencial, but it seems to fit better in a politically diverse world. Perhaps we are trying too hard to be liked, and not enough to be Mormon. The hard part about this is that, unlike the JWs, engagement in the world is part of Mormon religious theory.
All of this is mere personal observations, but I have always admired the “quiet desperation” of the JWs. They seem more carefree about their place in the world. Perhaps Mormons are just trying too hard as individuals and a Church instead of quietly living their lives as they believe should be lived in faith.
LikeLike
February 19, 2008 at 5:31 pm
ZeeZrom
I’m surprised that je has never heard anyone mention historical inaccuracies mentioned by ex-mormons, although, I guess he/she does say “less active” members. I’d say 99.9% of my fellow former-mormons/post-mormons/ex-mormons, etc., etc., left the church due to church history coverups/historical facts they were never mentioned or changed/Book of Abraham/Kinderhook Plates/Martin Harris story/ol’ Joe’s 34 wives, many of which were already married when he married them/all of the above. I’ve never met anyone who has actually completely left the church say it was because they were offended or because they couldn’t live without coffee/sex/tea/booze/smokes/lots of meat(wait, that IS part of the WOW, but rarely adhered to amongst mormons, so I guess no one worries about that “no meat unless times of famine rule”)/other so called “lifestyle issues”.
LikeLike
February 21, 2008 at 5:31 am
Mormon Heretic
Zeezrom, I don’t doubt you one bit, and I think there are many people troubled by church history.
However, my experience with inactives (not that I’m an expert on the subject) is that life just gets too busy. Most people aren’t intellectually curious, especially when given instruction by church leaders to avoid “anti-mormon” information ( i.e. anything that doesn’t portray the church in a good light.)
I know of several people who have begun smoking again. Smoking is very difficult to hide, and it is embarrassing to have others know you’re not following the word of wisdom. And if you do something like drink alcohol, coffee, etc, it makes you feel like a hypocrite to keep going to church and listen to all the “goody-goodies.” Of course, if you’re a teen, and sleep with your boyfriend/girlfriend, then you can begin to question why one has to be a “moral” person.
My bishop is my next door neighbor, and he talks about offending people all the time. For example, the church won’t pay credit card debt, and he tells them to sell some of their toys so they can afford their house payment. So, they get offended by the bishop. (According to him, there’s way more than you think in this category.)
Yes there are people who leave for the reasons you mention, and I’m sure you know plenty, especially here in the bloggernacle, but I think most people are too intellectually lazy to learn the stuff you have.
LikeLike
February 21, 2008 at 3:12 pm
ZeeZrom
Heretic,
I guess then the distinguishing factor is the “inactive” vs. the “completely out” person. I understand inactivity due to laziness, embarrassment, being offended, etc., but to actually request to have your name removed, takes a lot of patience, pondering, questioning, etc. The person that does that, myself included, is anything but lazy. Personally, I think the person that does acquaint themselves with all of the church’s history, yet remains in the church is also an incredible person. I mean, to be able to live with that much cognitive dissonance must really take its toll on a person. Especially women. No wonder Utah is the Xanex/Prozac/any anti-depressent drug capital of the country.
LikeLike
February 21, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Mormon Heretic
Zeezrom, Yes I agree. Both “inactive” and “completely out” are problems for the church, and require different solutions.
As for the drug reference, I don’t think it can be completely pinned on the church, but it certainly does play a role. I just saw a movie called “Happy Valley” that dealt with both legal and illegal drug abuse. The movie producers made a special emphasis that the movie could have been made in any city in the United States, but they chose the Salt Lake valley because they felt it would make more impact “in our own backyard.” Drug problems are everywhere, and it’s not totally fair to blame it exclusively on the church.
LikeLike
February 21, 2008 at 4:25 pm
ZeeZrom
I’ll just give most of the blame to the cognitive dissonance/pressure to be the perfect wife that mormon women live with then. How’s that?
You know I’m kind of kidding, but there honestly is a problem and the use of anti-depressants in Utah Valley is the highest per capita in the nation.
LikeLike
February 22, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Mormon Heretic
Yes, there certainly is a problem, but the problem in one of over-prescribing medication, and probably rests with the medical community. For whatever reason, Utah County over prescribes anti-depression medication more than any where else in the US. There is a “quick fix” mentality in the medical community, and too often doctors want to give you a pill instead of figure out what’s wrong with you. If they say nothing is wrong with you, then you go doctor shopping, and they end up losing business.
Just because someone feels bad, doesn’t mean they need medication. Most doctors over prescribe for many things, including antibiotics, ADHD drugs, cesarean sections, and scheduled deliveries via the drug Pitocin. Utah needs to realize that prescription drugs have drawbacks as well as benefits, and all things must be used in moderation.
In that movie I mentioned above, they specifically interviewed a drug addict and asked if the church was the cause of his drug abuse, and he said “no.” His drug abuse dealt more with his own inability to deal with life. Yes the church pressures didn’t help his case, but to blame it on the church is a major stretch. (I’m paraphrasing, but that was his point.)
I know this is off topic, but I believe that Pitocin prescription in Utah County is outrageously high. Just about everybody schedules their birth down here, and the doctors think it is perfectly fine; however, the medical literature says there are more risks, and more babies die than needed. My wife’s friend scheduled her birth–problem was the Pitocin didn’t work, and she ended up being in major labor pains for about 12 hours, and they ended up sending her home. The baby came on its own about a week later, and was fine, but the mother endured some unnecessary expense and pain.
This illustrates a medical community problem, and the mormon church is known as a “confounder”. (Ok, I’m studying epidemiology, and probably sounding like a statistician now….Sorry.) I just don’t like piling on the church in this case. There are plenty of things the church could improve, but this isn’t one of them.
LikeLike
February 23, 2008 at 4:33 pm
ama49
Jettboy,
I like the fact that you mentioned that we should “take the good from the others.” I think it’s very common for LDS people to claim the truth and shun everyone else thinking they can’t learn from them…and the JW’s are a very good example for us and every other Christian for that matter. I’ve heard a lot of people poke fun at them.
Anyways, very good point. Look at others and learn from them.
LikeLike