Comments on: Hitting the clubs with friends while married (without your spouse)

By: graceforgrace

graceforgrace — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 17:50:08 +0000

Good job Wonderdog!

It can be hard to stick to your guns, but great job doing that. I think it’s sort of crazy how people try to force you into things like that.

By: wonderdog

wonderdog — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 11:40:13 +0000

I was on a business trip with 4 other coworkers. They announcecd that they were going to a strip club and that I had to go along. We only had one car so they thought that I was trapped. I announced that I could walk back to the hotel from anywhere in Houston. They dropped me at the hotel.

By: graceforgrace

graceforgrace — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 20:24:42 +0000

Hi Denise,

I agree with you. If I’m at a club with or without my wife, chances are there will be ladies all around with skimpy clothes. Why would I put myself in that situation if I’m doing all I can to focus all my love towards my wife?

By: graceforgrace

graceforgrace — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 20:22:51 +0000

Hey Cherie,

You bring up some interesting points.

I personally can’t imagine being fine with my wife going dancing and flirting with another dude. I hope that my actions as a husband and a father and love that I show her help her feel confident in our relationship and not to have to artificially go and find it.

I agree with you that it is up to the couple to decide what they feel comfortable with. Especially if they hit the clubs together. I wouldn’t personally go to a club even with my wife just because of all the other stuff surrounding the scene, but if a couple has agreed that they are cool with that, then it’s all good for them.

Also, you bring up some good insight on life outside the Mormon culture. In the church we tend to think of people “outside” or “inside” the church (as I indicated in my post), but in truth people vary in what they prefer to do whether they are inside or outside a cultural or religious group.

By: graceforgrace

graceforgrace — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 19:59:55 +0000

Hey Doug,

Thanks. I have a great wife and kids so it makes it easy. As I think about where married people could be tempted to do that is if they’re having marital problems or something like that. That’s when the old devil steps in.

By: graceforgrace

graceforgrace — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 19:57:25 +0000

Hi Ezra,

I don’t mean to make it sound I stayed in the room all night….I went to the bar/restaurant with them and didn’t drink. I played games (pool, shuffleboard, etc.) and all that while they drank. I’m totally cool with people drinking. Just because I don’t drink I don’t expect them not to.

Where I find it interesting is when the married people hit the clubs flirting with other people….that’s where it definitely headed in the wrong direction, in my opinion. Kicking it with friends in the bar is fine.

By: Doug

Doug — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 14:02:29 +0000

I think you were a great role model for your co-workers. Over the years the few times I caved in and went along with the crowd-I knew it was a mistake. The time spent contacting your family was time well spent! God bless!

By: Cal

Cal — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 13:14:30 +0000

I thought Ezra made a valid point when he said that nursing a milkshake in the bar might keep someone from roaming the internet or TV where greater temptations may lie.

I didn’t get the impression at all, however, that GraceforGrace thinks spending time with co-workers, in itself, is always evil. I agree with Grace that going out to the bar/dance club scantily clad—even if you’re not married—and then coming back the next day bragging on the people who were hitting on you—that does not sound like godliness.

I bet your wife is proud of you, GraceforGrace.

By: ezra

ezra — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 01:56:57 +0000

Ama, your poll is misleading. You make it sound like spending time with co – workers is evil and that hunkering up in the room is godly. The man who is with his friends doesn’t have to be drinking or dancing. In fact, his being in the bar nursing a milkshake might be keeping him from roaming the internet or TV where greater temptations may lie. His being with friends might turn them from unwholesome activity or talk. Granted, I would rather turn in than stay out late, and I clicked in on number one before I realized my error

By: Denise Wells

Denise Wells — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 01:48:07 +0000

Why put yourself in a position that you might be tempted? I would never do that to my husband and I would be devastated if I found out that he had gone to a place like that without me. I think there is great wisdom in avoiding the appearance of evil because if you don’t look like you are doing something wrong, you probably aren’t!