Thank you for stopping by and thank you for your hear-felt and honest experience.

It sounds like the Bishop spoke without taking time to seek the will of the Lord himself. For him to reply like that without taking time to think, ponder, and pray about a decision in humility leads me to believe he spoke his own will and not God’s.

You have the ultimate responsiblity for caring for your family. No one can give you revelation on how to best do that other than God himself. It sounds like you live your life in a way that God speaks to you. Personally, I respect your example for following what God spoke to you and not blindly following the Bishop’s orders. I am sure you and your family will be blessed for it.

I am a strong, temple recommend carrying convert of the church for some years now. My entire family, and we with our wives and families, are all strong in the church. I love being a member of it–it is among the best of things I have in my life, and I treasure the relationships and friends I count because of the gospel.

I have enjoyed serving in scouting in the church for many years and am well known in my ward and stake for that. I love scouting and besides being scoutmaster am a merit badge counselor and help out with Eagle Board of Reviews from time to time. There are a lot of other things I’ve been concurrently involved with in the church too–all along– musical things, roadshows, supporting and getting called to help with other activities–all at the same time! We have a well populated stake and a large ward, so it’s not so much a matter that we don’t have plenty of people around to help out with things in the church. I guess I am an easy target in some respect. I just say “yes I’ll help.”
And am always glad I do.

Scouting in the LDS church is definitely its own peculiar beast–rewarding, aggravating, a lot of work to be sure. Alot of your time, and truthfully, substantial money too. I don’t turn in most all my receipts, the scouts eat well and have a lot of fun. I just figure, one is blessed for all that. Watching these boys grow up well, or seeing a non member boy join the church who came to your scouts, those are some of the rewards of scouting. Plus if you enjoy nature and helping boys grow up into fine young men.

I think for most LDS boys, scouting is a really good thing. Members/leaders/parents have varying degrees of understanding/misunderstanding it. Expressions run the gamut from full support to mild resistance. I grew into my calling. I am better organized, I learned how to put together an organization and see it run well on behalf of the kids.

After serving almost nine continuous years in various scouting capacities, from Cubmaster to 11 year old leader to assistant scoutmaster to full fledged scoutmaster (I did Woodbadge training this past year too)
I reached a crucial point, only 2 1/2 years into being a scoutmaster, as my son was finishing his Eagle rank.

The answers I got from my praying and pondering were from left field in spite of my plans to work scouting for at least ten years before I figured, I would take stock of everything and see where things were at. But I was all ready there.

I had five summer scout camps behind me, three of those years sacrificed without a summer family vacation because of scout camp. I had some good help but you also get dumped on some because people have busy lives and livings and spouses with heavy church callings, and after all, as scoutmaster, you ARE scouting in the ward. As scoutmaster, you have to be there at most everything the troop does. I also was working and finished a college music composition degree during that same time.

My family had arrived at a crossroads. Now I could see that Scouting and my family were really starting to head different directions. My daughter was entering high school and getting very involved in competitive activities there. I’d spent a lot of time missing some of her things during my scouting though I tried not to miss too much and, to spend extra time with her. Not having my son in the program anymore for several years wasn’t so bad for awhile, but it’s also changed my feelings unexpectedly. I really put alot into scouting and expected to just keep on keeping on with it for many years. My son had all ready moved onto Varsity then Venturing, but he still had kept coming on our campouts with some of the older boys until that group had dwindled and moved on. I knew this would happen eventually, I had even deliberately let my son take his time getting his Eagle done. When he told me he didn’t really want to come out on our campouts anymore, because the older kids all moved on and didn’t come anymore, and the kids now coming were so much younger than him, it was heart breaking for me. My heart went out of it. I also really didn’t want to go to scout camp anymore, and leave my family without having my son there with me. He was moving on. And now, I realized, so was I.

I also wanted to be freer to be more of a parent volunteer with my kid’s activities in school. With scouts, I was just too busy to help out at school much, though I am a VP on my homeowner’s board and love helping with that. Also, my wife’s health is downhill at this point, she’s been working closely with her doctor to get her health back, and she hasn’t been able to be as supportive as in the past and I feel guilty not being around more to help her with the house and the kids. These were all little “wakeup calls” that pushed me to really reflect, pray, about where everything was at, at this very point in time.

But I would keep doing scouting anyway if that’s what the Lord wanted me to do.

I felt bad about all this but I knew the tough choice had to be made. I had to minimize my involvement, not be away on weekends and scout camp, let someone else take the wheel for awhile, but I could still help in scouting in other ways. My training and experience were too valuable to cold turkey shelf it all–I would still be a registered merit badge counselor and adult volunteer– I could still help the boys alot.

So when I expressed all this to my Bishop, I offered to stay on as a Varsity/Venturer advisor (we don’t have anyone helping there) and help our older boys with their advancement in scouting towards Eagle, something that I have mentioned to him having someone else be called to before (which never happened.) The older boy programs in our ward aren’t really too good and don’t support the boys even though they want to finish their Eagles. I don’t believe it’s just up to the parents and the boys to finish Eagle. They need to be prodded, reminded, pushed a little, and supported.

I knew as did my Bishop, full well, that there are several men in our ward who have the time and aptitude/disposition for scouting and were in a position to step in and take the helm for awhile.

I was dismayed though, when my Bishop was visibly displeased and instead of a nod or even the smallest comiseration, he instead gave me the “Lord makes callings and Lord makes releases” lecture and decried me for “forcing your release”.
I was floored. I was thinking to myself, “With all that I’ve told you…and, you just returned from a 3 week family vacation [seriously!]…and my family had to miss their 3rd summer vacation in a row because of scouts and you’re telling me this?!” My family and I are always early at any church activity and meeting, always showing up to help… when we moved into this ward, I took a neglected shambles of a scouting program and turned things around. I built a wonderful ward scout committee, a roster of merit badge counselors to help our boys, a ward flag fundraiser which helped pay for almost all of scout camp…had planned good and organized activities including high adventure backpacking trips…did troop training for the boys and got them involved in troop leadership, all this!!!
and, didn’t personal revelation have anything to do with my asking to be released?

I think the Lord tells us and works through us and lets us know when we need to make a change in direction or focus in our lives, and that sometimes requires proactivity on our part whether or not our church leadership is always in tune or agreement with us when we are so convicted of what we must do and know it is right. I don’t agree with over-passivity being a member of this church–we are supposed to take an active role in our own salvation.

While I don’t recommend asking to be released from a church calling, sometimes, that’s just what needs to happen. I’ll admit, sometimes that’s what needs NOT to happen. When you are called on a two year mission or a 5-6 year calling as Bishop, you’ve got to see it through!

I had to work through a less than enthusiastic Bishopric (the Bishop even told me he “has problems with scouting” –even as an Eagle Scout and Order of the Arrow member himself. He’s a pretty good guy and has a great family, maybe he also needs to learn on this learning curve of life a little and I am a reminder to him of that? it’s hasn’t been the easiest job for me fulfilling the calling he gave me. (er, the Lord). Appeal for help and intervention, mostly ignored. I know Bishops are busy with other fires to put out.

Despite all that, I kept on and those irritations were not ultimately the reasons “I threw in the towel.”

I have a lot of personal things on my family plate to take care of right now. I need to regroup and take care of some things I’ve had to neglect that the Lord wants me to take care of.

I’m glad my own sense and testimony are not being run roughshod. Scouting is a very open ended calling– not a limited definite time term. I never committed to serving any specific time period, though I’m sure that was the expectation and hope. I gave it a lot of love and hard work overall for nine years– that’s what really matters, not some lack of sensitivity on a leader’s part–or oversensitivity on mine.

thanks for listening! sincerely, Sean McLaughlin

If you truly feel in your heart you shouldn’t do the calling then I don’t think it is something you should do. Remember in DC section 4 where it says “if you have desires to serve ye are called to the work.” Also, throughout the scriptures it talks about having desires…desires to learn, repent, be baptized. Never does it say we should force ourselves to do this. It should come from within.

That also goes for going to church. You should go because you want to and not because you feel guilty or forced to. If you don’t have the desire to attend church but want the desire, let the desire work in you and pray to God that your desire will be strengthened.

I am pretty positive this calling was not based on inspiration. So many emotions. Really, so many! In my head, I came up with 4 reason why they called me and I ask him if these were the reasons they had called me, he said he didn’t know. I told him that I had to think and pray about it, but my answer was most likely going to be no. Then he ask me what my reservations were. Again, I told him that I felt like the four reasons that I initially thought of were reservations and then gave him a few more. I also told him that I thought it would be better to get someone that will truly love and magnify the calling. Because I would mostly likely not magnify it and dread doing it week after week.

It’s a new bishopric, I think he may have been a little caught of gaurd that someone might actually say no. I have said no to a calling before, and I felt okay about it. I don’t ever want to feel like I have to do something that I really, truly don’t want to do.

I have been a member of the church my entire life. I love the gospel and I have a testimony. However, I’m not strong. It’s hard for me to get up and get to church on Sundays. The only thing that keeps me going is Relief Society, take that away from me and who knows what will happen. I’ve had this particular calling before, I rarely made it to Sacrament and dreaded going to the last two blocks. When the year was up, the president ask me at that time if I ‘wanted’ to continue with the calling. I said no. I was thanked for being honest, and even told I shouldn’t be ‘stuck’ in a calling that I didn’t love.

I am now feeling more comfortable. I feel like it will be okay to call him and tell him no, but at the same time make sure he really understands my reasons.

I was interviewed by a councillor in the stake presidency about 18 years ago for a calling as ward mission leader (the 4th time) and I questioned him at the time, if he really thought the lord needed me to do this calling again and his reply was: look around the ward, who do I think would be better prepared to fulfill the calling (it was a small ward with little priesthood) I said: I can see your point and he said that sometimes they have to call people because they are the only obvious person who could do that calling. thats it sometimes Bishops don’t have much choice and thats why they make the call but other times they have a few to choose from and the lord leaves it to the to choose.

(For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.)
and as an old stake president said if we got it wrong we new by the way it turned out.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing a great comment!

You’re absolutely right in that we need to wait on the Lord as it says in Psalms. I feel part of waiting on the Lord includes praying and preparing our hearts to receive and recognize a calling once we receive it as well.

May God richly bless your ministry!

If you have any questions, please email me at oakley2004@embarqmail.com

Love,
Lyndi