Today I was listening to a great sermon delivered by Dr David Jeremiah entitled “Giving in the Grace Zone.” If you have the time I recommend listening to this excellent sermon. During the sermon he discusses the term he calls “grace giving.” Grace giving is giving back to God because of the love that we have for Him. He discusses how if we’re giving back to God because of the love we have for Him in our hearts we will offer sacrifices and selflessness.
As he delivered this sermon, I thought about the church I attend and the various opportunities it provides for me to give. I attend the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which has a lay ministry. Due to this fact, I have had the opportunity to serve in many different capacities commonly called “callings” within the organization throughout the years.
The way callings are issued are through prayerful consideration of the church’s leaders of each congregation. They then present the opportunity to the members of the church and the members then have the chance to accept or reject a calling.
During Dr Jeremiah’s sermon, he mentioned the scripture in Acts chapter 5 where Annanias and his wife act as if they are giving to the Lord, but then keep back a part of what they said they would give. He (Dr Jeremiah) says the sin wasn’t that they kept back the part of the Lord, but that they had let the church believe they were selling their land to give to the church and then went back on their word.
During my 20 years of active membership in the LDS church, I’ve heard of people who have chosen to not accept church callings. My personal feelings are that these people are better off than those who accept a calling grudgingly similar to the example of Annanias in the Bible.
Some may argue that we should accept the calling regardless of how we feel inside and just work at it and it will “grow” on you because when we serve our hearts are opened. Others will argue that one needs to get their hear right first. I’d love to hear what you think.
Just to have some fun I’m going to add a poll.
Feel free to share your comments below as well.
Grace for Grace 
31 comments
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January 17, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Eric
I think we have to start with the assumption that a bishop issues a calling based on inspiration. But what does that mean?
Assuming I’m the one given a calling, it may be because I am the best one to fulfill a certain role in the Church, or because there’s something I can learn by accepting the calling. In that case, I accept the calling. This is how it works most of the time.
But there may be other reasons why a bishop might be inspired. This may sound flip, but it’s not mean to be: Maybe the bishop was inspired to make a certain calling so he could learn to deal with rejection.
Or perhaps he was inspired to call me because I’m the one who has knowledge about someone who might be a more suitable person. Or maybe he was inspired to call me so that I, even if I don’t accept the calling, learn something from the fact that I was asked. Or whatever.
I don’t believe that we are supposed to let others make decisions for us. The bishop is called to make callings through inspiration. His role in filling the position ends there. Once he calls me, it’s up to me to seek inspiration about how I should respond.
In most cases, I will be inspired to respond “yes.” (Indeed, that has always been the case.) But we also need to be open to the possibility that the Holy Spirit may inspire us to respond “no.”
And I certainly agree that it’s better to turn down a calling for the wrong reasons than to accept the calling and not approach the task with the right attitude.
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January 18, 2009 at 4:01 am
Ezra
Church work, whether led by trained persons or lay-persons, is an important duty. We can be certain, scripturally, that God wants the message of salvation to be delivered. The duties of a church are many, of course, and are important in their own way.
It’s hard to recruit people to serve in the first place; and when they do agree to serve, we hope that it is with a willing heart and not that they have been coerced in any way.
I think a ‘bishop’ could think more highly of himself than he ought and play the “inspiration” card to get things done–just as a pastor in a Lutheran church could do the same. But in using that card, they are trying to motivate by using LAW–convincing that God wants it done in this particular way, when there is no evidence that this is the case.
A leader is wise to call upon God and then cast the bread on the waters. God will certainly call forth leaders to meet his needs and do his will. Notice that Mordecai, uncle to Esther (in the Book of Esther), commends Esther to do her part (in speaking in defense of the Jews), and concludes by saying, “Who’s to say whether you have risen to this position for just such a purpose; but understand that whether you do this or do not do it, God will cause this work to be done.” (A very rough paraphrase)
Faith, given by God, will move us to do that which needs to be done.
Blessings in Christ,
Ezra
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January 18, 2009 at 5:15 am
ama49
Eric,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree with your comments and they are in line with Ezra’s comments as well. As long as the Bishop is acting under inspiration of the Holy Spirit things should be fine.
Ezra’s comment was excellent when he concluded with:
“faith given by God will move us to do that which needs to be done.”
I believe the following scripture from the Book of Mormon applies. It is in Mosiah chapter 18:
8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are adesirous to come into the bfold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
9 Yea, and are awilling to mourn with those that bmourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as cwitnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the dfirst resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—
10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being abaptized in the bname of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a ccovenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?
11 And now when the people had heard these words, they clapped their hands for joy, and exclaimed: This is the desire of our hearts.
Technically, according to this scripture, we are making a covenant to serve the people of God when we are baptized. We all make mistakes and our hearts are not always where they need to be. Therefore, when a bishop acts in inspiration and offers us a calling if we don’t have the desire to serve we need to repent and remember what we covenanted to do at baptism and that is to “mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that need comfort.”
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January 19, 2009 at 3:18 am
Bruce in Montana
I’ve heard this debated for many years. Personally I feel that it is the individual man’s (or husband’s if it’s the wife that is being called) responsibility as the priesthood holder in his home to seek personal revelation as to whether or not to accept a bishop’s calling.
The way it usually works is this:
The bishop/branch president prays for inspiration and then makes a decision as to the most logical choice for a given calling that needs to be filled. Bishops are human. They don’t always know that the decision they are making is inspired. They’re just doing the best they can.
That’s why I’ve always felt it the duty of a person to get a personal answer from the lord regarding this.
…my 2 cents
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January 19, 2009 at 4:21 am
ezra
As an outsider looking in, I am puzzled about what exactly is meant by callings…
Is it to lead a worship service?
Assist at a funeral?
Take the youth to the Grand Canyon?
I don’t mean to be flip—I just don’t know what exactly is meant by the bishop’s calling you.
I can imagine that some might abuse this “inspiration” of the Holy Spirit. What do you do if someone pulls the inspiration card a bit too often. Perhaps that is what you meant, Bruce, by suggesting that the best response is a prayerful consideration of the call.
Scripture would add that we test the spirits that come to us. What do you suppose that test would be?
Blessings in Christ,
Ezra
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January 19, 2009 at 4:31 am
Eric
Ezra — The callings are more like “jobs” than one-time tasks. Examples are being called as a bishop, as a Sunday school teacher, as a pianist, as the financial record-keeper, as a librarian, as a youth leader and so on. Some can be quite time-consuming (like being a bishop), while others may involve only the time spent at church performing the task. My last calling was as an adult Sunday school teacher; I spent about four hours a week in preparation for each class.
With the exception of becoming a full-time missionary, one does not “apply” for a calling, nor even seek it (at least in theory). The calling system is a big part of how the church function, and it usually works fairly well.
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January 19, 2009 at 5:08 am
ama49
ezra,
You and Bruce bring up good points with “testing the spirits.” In theory, there could be some arrogance and unrighteousness on the Bishop’s when they issue callings to the members. The cool thing is that the members aren’t obligated to accept a calling and it is completely voluntary.
I’ve had experiences where I feel the Spirit tell me I’ll receive a certain calling and then soon thereafter I’m called to that calling.
I’ve also had experiences where I am called to a calling but due to personal circumstances and health issues I’ve had to decline.
For more details and explanations on callings, I recommend reading what LDS apostles have to say on the subject.
Dallin H Oaks gave a great talk a few years back. You can view it on this link:
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=0ebaee9ba42fe010VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1
Russel Ballard gave a good one on balancing your personal life and also your callings:
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=36a888f17feae010VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1
As I alluded to in the last comment I made, when people join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints they are baptized and the baptism is not only an expression of faith in Jesus, but a commitment to serve and build up His kingdom on earth and that is why the Church runs very effectively, in my opinion.
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January 19, 2009 at 5:12 am
ama49
Ezra,
I just found one more excellent talk about callings from the LDS apostle, Boyd Packer.
I found this over at the blog: http://www.wendyusuallywanders.wordpress.com
Here’s the quote:
“Everything that is done in the Church–the leading, the teaching, the calling, the ordaining, the praying, the singing, the preparation of the sacrament, the counseling, and everything else–is done by ordinary members, the ‘weak things of the world.’”We see in the Christian churches their struggle to fill the need for clergy. We do not have that problem. Once the gospel is preached and the Church is organized, there is an inexhaustible supply of faithful brothers and sisters who have that testimony and are willing to answer the call to serve. They commit themselves to the work of the Lord and live the standards required of them.”
Boyd K. Packer, “The Weak and the Simple of the Earth”
Ensign Nov 2007, page 67
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January 20, 2009 at 11:46 pm
KingOfTexas
If my neighbor came to my house and said he was moved by the spirit to ask me to take him somewhere; I would do it. Then I could hardly wait to see what was going to happen along the way. I would still give him a ride even if he wasn’t inspired.
I would like to think I would do the same thing for the church.
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January 23, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Dan
I don’t know if I’ve ever had a calling where I thought I was the “best” person for the job. If I am the best person for the job, then the wards I have lived in are in pretty sorry shape. However, since I don’t think that God calls the person “best” suited for a calling I’m okay with it.
My current ward has the Stake President, one of his counselors, the Stake Executive Secretary, several former bishops, etc. There is a lot of talent in my ward. Could one of them do a better job as the ward employment specialist than me? Probably. However, at this moment in time, the Lord wants me to do that calling. It is therefore my responsibility to become the best ward employment specialist that I can be.
I’ve never seen anyone that can kill multiple birds with one stone quite like the Lord. I strive to magnify my calling and he blesses me for it, and hopefully as I’m doing so others are blessed also. The day that I receive a calling where I think I’m the best possible choice for the job, will be the day that I need to do some serious repenting. Just my thoughts on the subject.
Anyway, to tie this into the question asked at the beginning of the post, yes, I think that I should accept every calling given to me, even when I’m the worst possible choice. If I work at it, I’ll become better, and once I actually figure out how to do the calling well, the Lord will move me to another calling.
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January 24, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Susan
In most cases I do believe that the bishop prayerfully considers who should receive calling, but there are instances where he chooses those that he wants, rather than those the Lord wants.
I have turned down two callings, one because I had no knowledge of it before it was announced over the pulpit! That was a calling I had been released from a couple weeks earlier! The other one, I felt highly inadequate, and was very uncomfortable at being asked. I also was very uncomfortable when the bishop tried to talk me into taking the calling.
When we are asked to accept a calling, we should take a couple days to pray about it. We should never make a hasty decision, but pray about it, and try to find out what the Lord wants us to do.
When I was asked to accept the calling of Relief Society President in my branch, I was shocked! Of course, at that time, I felt that I was probably the only choice, unless he wanted to reorganize the entire branch. But, I felt comfortable with the idea, and felt that I could fulfill the calling.
I have known people who have accepted callings, but have never made any attempt to fulfill them. They quit coming to Church once they accepted a calling.
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January 24, 2009 at 5:17 pm
ama49
Hi Dan,
Good to hear from you again!
I think that it is a good thing to accept church callings when they come to us regardless of whether we feel adequate or not. If we’re feeling very uncomfortable about a calling, we should take some time to pray and ask for stregth. My experience has been that when I feel inadequate the Spirit helps make up the difference and I rely on the Lord more heavily too.
I’ve accepted pretty much every call given to me. However, I had to ask to be released from a big calling one time because I felt that I had some personal issues to work on and the calling was too much at the time.
Do you think there could ever be a time when you would feel that a calling would be too much?
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January 24, 2009 at 5:19 pm
ama49
Hi Susan,
Welcome to the site! I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.
I think it’s a good thing to pray about a calling and take it seriously like you said.
In the good old days they used to give mission calls over the pulpit though. Some people may argue with you that when we sustain our leaders that it means we’ll agree and support with their decisions so even if they extend a church calling over the pulpit you should accept the calling.
What are your thoughts about that?
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January 24, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Should we accept a church calling if we're not "into it"? - LDS Mormon Forums
[…] Come visit my site and see what others had to say. Feel free to leave your input there. Click here to visit the […]
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February 26, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Rich
What kind of poll is that?? I wanted to push the button that says you accept without reservation. If you’re moving the next day or dieing or whatever, you should mention those items for their information, but not with the attitude of ‘no’.
“But we also need to be open to the possibility that the Holy Spirit may inspire us to respond “no.””.
Not so, Eric. Even if the leadership is uninspired God will give you the means to support that leadership and perform the calling. How many times did Saul try to kill David but David still knew that Saul was the Lord’s anointed – “but I would not stretch forth mine hand bagainst the Lord’s anointed.” (1Sam.26:23). Your bishopric would never try to kill you. You don’t say no to their callings. You accept, even if it’s grudgingly, repent, and invoke the Lord’s help in performing that calling until you are released.
“I think a ‘bishop’ could think more highly of himself than he ought and play the “inspiration” card to get things done–just as a pastor in a Lutheran church could do the same. But in using that card, they are trying to motivate by using LAW–convincing that God wants it done in this particular way, when there is no evidence that this is the case.”
Ezra! What’s all this? You don’t concern yourself with what the attitude of your leaders are. They are still the Lord’s anointed as were Eli’s two sons who were extremely corrupt. “Now Eli was very old, and heard all that his sons did unto all Israel; and how they lay with the women that assembled at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. (1Sam.2:22)”. God, eventually, killed all three of them. Here’s the difference between a bishopric in the Lord’s church and a Lutheran pastor:
“…man bshould not counsel his fellow man, neither ctrust in the arm of flesh— But that every man might speak in the name of God the Lord, even the Savior of the world; “ (D&C 1: 19-20). When they are in council they should not trust each other but they speak as directed by the Holy Ghost. Again, whether they accomplish that or not is neither your business nor should be your concern. They are the Lord’s anointed. As far as the congregations of the Lord’s church are concerned, the leadership, at any level, never “cast their bread on the waters”. Their leadership is divinely inspired and, by the will of God, should be supported. As good hearted as the Lutheran pastor may be he has neither the gift of the Holy Ghost nor the mantle of any calling in the Lord’s church. He makes his best guess and casts his bread upon the waters. A Bishop doesn’t need ‘evidence‘.
Mordecai and Esther were cousins whom he adopted when her parents died. That I could find, neither had any church callings. But that as it be, neither of them cast there bread upon the waters. They were of the Lord’s people and, without fear, did what they knew was right. They didn’t know what the outcome would be. They didn’t need to – just as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego didn’t know. They just knew what was right and what was wrong. Isn’t that really what the book of Esther is all about – be close to God and He will be close to you?
“Faith, given by God, will move us to do that which needs to be done.”
Bravo!! That’s exactly what faith will do. It will strengthen us to accept the calling without investigation, whereas the faithless, not having the Spirit with them when they are called in to see the Bishop, will have to feign righteousness by saying something like ‘I have to go and pray about it first’.
A wonderful closing statement, but that backdrop was something else.
Bruce:
“The way it usually works is this: The bishop/branch president prays for inspiration and then makes a decision as to the most logical choice for a given calling that needs to be filled. Bishops are human. They don’t always know that the decision they are making is inspired. They’re just doing the best they can.”
Here’s how it works! The bishop/branch president discusses the calling with his counselors. They may discuss logic among other things. They then pray for inspiration and their decision is inspired. When they extend the calling, that calling is extended in “the name of God the Lord even the Savior of the world“. See above. Again, if they really are being led by the Spirit is none of anybody’s business but God’s. We act as though it is – without question.
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April 13, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Jen
I came upon this post after searching for any discussions about turning down callings. I guess that I just wanted to see if any faithful committed members do that sort of thing besides myself.
When I was in my 20’s, I served in any position I was called and I gave 110% By my 30’s I think I had worn myself out. For a year I was in the nursery calling and I became seriously depressed. Being a Stay-At-Home Mom with a toddler was hard, but taking care of other peoples kids for 2 hours every Sunday, when I really just needed a break myself nearly did me in. I finally started saying, “No” about a year ago after having my last baby. I was called to be a Sunbeam teacher and I had a 3 month old that I was nursing. Sunbeams isn’t really any better than nursery and I just said “No” right there without even hesitating. I had reached my breaking point. I felt horrible about saying no to a calling.
I talked to my Visiting Teacher about it and she related this experience to me: When she had a toddler of her own and was asked to serve in nursery she asked this question, “Are you just trying to fill the calling, or is this inspired?” The priesthood authority then told her that he was just trying to fill the position. She then said, “No.” I realized for the first time that sometimes it is just about filling a need. Not every calling is prayed about. About a month later I was called in again. The 1st Counselor of the Bishopric told me that the Bishopric had prayed about what calling to give me and then he asked if I would be in charge of the Ward Newsletter. I felt that this was the right calling for me and answered, “Yes!” I enjoy my calling now and I give 110%. I get comments all of the time about how wonderful the newsletter is. I am able to take care of my baby and visit with the Sisters in Relief Society (Something I really need to do, since I don’t ever get out of the house with a baby).
Just this week my husband accepted on my behalf to give a talk in church. I had just given a talk a year and a half ago and was irate that my husband accepted for me. They would never ever let me accept something like that for my husband and would want to ask him personally. I am super stressed out right now with many things going on in my life with my kids, etc… I just did not have it in me to give a talk and I made my husband call back and refuse on my behalf, since he had been the one to accept on my behalf. My husband thinks I am horrible not to say yes and do whatever the bishopric asks of me. I feel like I made the right decision. If the bishopric had really prayed about asking me to give a talk right now, they would not have asked me. I don’t feel like I am bad not to accept. I have learned my limits and know what I can and cannot do. I am much happier now that I have learned to say no and assert myself.
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April 14, 2009 at 6:03 am
ama49
Jen.
Thanks for stopping by and welcome to the blog!
I agree with you. In our last general conference during priesthood meeting one of the GA’s quoted president Hinckley saying the most important things to take care of are:
1. Family
2. Occupations
3. Callings
4. Yourself.
I personally feel family is first no matter what. If you feel overwhelmed and that a calling is getting in the way of your family I don’t see a reason to accept the calling, especially if the leader admits he’s just trying to fill a position. You also aren’t of any service to anyone else if your heart isn’t into it and you are doing it totally out of obligation or haven’t felt the confirmation that it is what you should be doing.
I wouldn’t worry about not accepting the call.
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April 14, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Andy
Once I was in a ward for three years and never had a calling. Talk about feeling unwanted and unneeded. Currently, I am in a branch where all of the priesthood holders are in leadership positions but myself. I feel very angry and bitter about this. This weekend, they’re re-organizing the branch presidency again because a new stake is being created. I just know I’m going to be left out of the loop again. I get so ticked off, sometimes I feel like leaving the church over it. I was preparing for the priesthood, when I met the lds missionaries. Always wanted to be a pastor of some type. My life in the church has been one big disappointment because of this. I’ve observed in the church that the more money you make or the more professional you are the more likely you are to receive more visible callings. Sometimes, I feel like an apostate, but what can I do? It would be nice to feel loved, needed, and wanted. Anyone care to help? I didn’t think so.
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April 15, 2009 at 1:02 am
ama49
Andy,
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your concerns.
I can see how you would feel that way. I do have a few questions for you though.
1. why do you want a leadership position?
2. What is your definition of what Christ views as a leader?
3. What can you do to show love to others despite not having a calling?
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April 21, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Diana
I personally think some callings are hardly “inspired.” For instance, why does a person who is a musician professionally have to always be called to a music calling in church? Speaking for myself, I think leaders should sometimes, not always, try a little harder to be “inspired.” Inspiration means that the choice may not always be the obvious one. And maybe when choosing someone to work with you, you go out of your comfort zone a tad and call someone who you know might struggle with the calling a tad rather than calling the person who won’t have to lift a finger to do it. Or, for instance, you might be “inspired” to call someone to something that is not in your immediate geographical area or lives somewhere that might require going to a less than perfect part of town. Just some thoughts. In general, I think true inspiration comes with true prayer and consideration, not laziness.
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April 22, 2009 at 5:23 am
ama49
Hi Diana,
Amen to what you said! My willlingness to serve is greatly strenghtened when a leader approaches me and says he’s spent time thinking and praying and the Lord wants me to do “x” and then the Spirit confirms it to me compared to when a leader merely says “we need you to do this…”
However, having been in a leadership position before I can attest that in many instances we’re left up to our own judgement. The Spirit didn’t prompt me with every calling, but many times the call just made sense. If that was the case I approached the individual and said we’ve prayed and thought about things and this is what makes sense…rather than “the Lord wants you to do this.”
thanks for the comment!
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April 27, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Lyndi Oakley
It had been my experience to wait on the Lord! If you are not sure whether you should go into a ministry, pray and wait on the Holy Spirit to tell you. I have jumped into things that the Lord didn’t lead me to do and it has taken time away from my ministry that God actually called me to do. We should put everything into the ministry that God has called us to do. Also, if we jump into it, the person that God wants to do the ministry (if not us) may not get a chance to do it, and then we’re cutting off their blessing. My best advice is to wait to hear from heaven. Sometimes it takes awhile, but we must be patient (which I’m not good at LOL…)
May God richly bless your ministry!
If you have any questions, please email me at oakley2004@embarqmail.com
Love,
Lyndi
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May 3, 2009 at 10:54 pm
ama49
Hi Lyndi,
Thanks for stopping by and sharing a great comment!
You’re absolutely right in that we need to wait on the Lord as it says in Psalms. I feel part of waiting on the Lord includes praying and preparing our hearts to receive and recognize a calling once we receive it as well.
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May 14, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Sarah Coffman
your two answer choices are not opposites, but the same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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May 19, 2009 at 7:57 am
Andy
For everyone that is called to a position of leadership, increased responsibility, there are probably hundreds, if not thousands of priesthood holders, who could do just as good a job. What about favoritism and nepotism. It happens all the time.
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July 21, 2009 at 12:20 am
John
I’ve read through the comments and wanted to make a comment myself:
I’ve always been a faithful member of the church and willing to serve in whatever calling came along, from high Council to councillor in bishopric and even early morning seminary for 2 years. I love the gospel would give my life for it. I served a faithful mission and have a large growing family, 2 of which are now happily married in the temple. I was called into the newly called bishops office and intereviewed for a calling, Ward mission leader (which would be my 5th time) and my reply was again? the bishop was a little taken back by my response and went on to explain that he is a little new to it all and that he felt in his mind that I was going to be the next bishop and not him. He expressed his view that he felt the lord can prepare more than one person for a calling and that it was down to the leader to choose (in this case the stake president).
This of course came as a shock that he would tell me his feelings like that. I want to put this into persective, I don’t seek for callings but would serve in wahtever call came along. Before the bishop was called I had some experiences that made me think something was about to happen and over the last 4 years I’ve had an outpouring of love toward the members of the ward and have lay awake at night concerned about individuals who are struggling.
I accepted the call as ward mission leader and done the best I could but for the last year+ have been called as the family history consultant and have struggled to feel excited about the call. It didn’t help when I mentioned to my HP group leader that I hadn’t had a calling for 3 months and 2 weeks later I was called.
now I think the calling of family history consultant was to keep me quiet or really just to keep me involved.
I was interviewed by a councillor in the stake presidency about 18 years ago for a calling as ward mission leader (the 4th time) and I questioned him at the time, if he really thought the lord needed me to do this calling again and his reply was: look around the ward, who do I think would be better prepared to fulfill the calling (it was a small ward with little priesthood) I said: I can see your point and he said that sometimes they have to call people because they are the only obvious person who could do that calling. thats it sometimes Bishops don’t have much choice and thats why they make the call but other times they have a few to choose from and the lord leaves it to the to choose.
(For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.)
and as an old stake president said if we got it wrong we new by the way it turned out.
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July 22, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Gus
I am so glad I stumbled upon this blog (entry in particular). Last night I was ask to come and talk to the bishop. I knew that it was for a calling. I met with the first counselor, he released me from a calling that I LOVED and then ask to to do the new one. I looked him in the eyes and said, “Are you serious? You have got to be kidding!” Then began to cry. Even typing it now, I am crying. I didn’t sleep last night because I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I am pretty positive this calling was not based on inspiration. So many emotions. Really, so many! In my head, I came up with 4 reason why they called me and I ask him if these were the reasons they had called me, he said he didn’t know. I told him that I had to think and pray about it, but my answer was most likely going to be no. Then he ask me what my reservations were. Again, I told him that I felt like the four reasons that I initially thought of were reservations and then gave him a few more. I also told him that I thought it would be better to get someone that will truly love and magnify the calling. Because I would mostly likely not magnify it and dread doing it week after week.
It’s a new bishopric, I think he may have been a little caught of gaurd that someone might actually say no. I have said no to a calling before, and I felt okay about it. I don’t ever want to feel like I have to do something that I really, truly don’t want to do.
I have been a member of the church my entire life. I love the gospel and I have a testimony. However, I’m not strong. It’s hard for me to get up and get to church on Sundays. The only thing that keeps me going is Relief Society, take that away from me and who knows what will happen. I’ve had this particular calling before, I rarely made it to Sacrament and dreaded going to the last two blocks. When the year was up, the president ask me at that time if I ‘wanted’ to continue with the calling. I said no. I was thanked for being honest, and even told I shouldn’t be ‘stuck’ in a calling that I didn’t love.
I am now feeling more comfortable. I feel like it will be okay to call him and tell him no, but at the same time make sure he really understands my reasons.
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July 23, 2009 at 5:38 am
ama49
Hi Gus,
If you truly feel in your heart you shouldn’t do the calling then I don’t think it is something you should do. Remember in DC section 4 where it says “if you have desires to serve ye are called to the work.” Also, throughout the scriptures it talks about having desires…desires to learn, repent, be baptized. Never does it say we should force ourselves to do this. It should come from within.
That also goes for going to church. You should go because you want to and not because you feel guilty or forced to. If you don’t have the desire to attend church but want the desire, let the desire work in you and pray to God that your desire will be strengthened.
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August 5, 2010 at 2:03 am
Sean McLaughlin
Hey, it’s great to find a place where there is thoughtful discussion about what can be a heavyweight subject with callings and releases. I am going through a bit of a personal ordeal with this right now. It’s not a major testimony shaker but it definitely has me working through things! I don’t care if you don’t put my saga on your blog. It may not belong there. Maybe it’s better that it’s been cathartic for me and that’s as far as it needs to go rather than published as a public gripe. But if it can help anybody not feel alone in this…
I am a strong, temple recommend carrying convert of the church for some years now. My entire family, and we with our wives and families, are all strong in the church. I love being a member of it–it is among the best of things I have in my life, and I treasure the relationships and friends I count because of the gospel.
I have enjoyed serving in scouting in the church for many years and am well known in my ward and stake for that. I love scouting and besides being scoutmaster am a merit badge counselor and help out with Eagle Board of Reviews from time to time. There are a lot of other things I’ve been concurrently involved with in the church too–all along– musical things, roadshows, supporting and getting called to help with other activities–all at the same time! We have a well populated stake and a large ward, so it’s not so much a matter that we don’t have plenty of people around to help out with things in the church. I guess I am an easy target in some respect. I just say “yes I’ll help.”
And am always glad I do.
Scouting in the LDS church is definitely its own peculiar beast–rewarding, aggravating, a lot of work to be sure. Alot of your time, and truthfully, substantial money too. I don’t turn in most all my receipts, the scouts eat well and have a lot of fun. I just figure, one is blessed for all that. Watching these boys grow up well, or seeing a non member boy join the church who came to your scouts, those are some of the rewards of scouting. Plus if you enjoy nature and helping boys grow up into fine young men.
I think for most LDS boys, scouting is a really good thing. Members/leaders/parents have varying degrees of understanding/misunderstanding it. Expressions run the gamut from full support to mild resistance. I grew into my calling. I am better organized, I learned how to put together an organization and see it run well on behalf of the kids.
After serving almost nine continuous years in various scouting capacities, from Cubmaster to 11 year old leader to assistant scoutmaster to full fledged scoutmaster (I did Woodbadge training this past year too)
I reached a crucial point, only 2 1/2 years into being a scoutmaster, as my son was finishing his Eagle rank.
The answers I got from my praying and pondering were from left field in spite of my plans to work scouting for at least ten years before I figured, I would take stock of everything and see where things were at. But I was all ready there.
I had five summer scout camps behind me, three of those years sacrificed without a summer family vacation because of scout camp. I had some good help but you also get dumped on some because people have busy lives and livings and spouses with heavy church callings, and after all, as scoutmaster, you ARE scouting in the ward. As scoutmaster, you have to be there at most everything the troop does. I also was working and finished a college music composition degree during that same time.
My family had arrived at a crossroads. Now I could see that Scouting and my family were really starting to head different directions. My daughter was entering high school and getting very involved in competitive activities there. I’d spent a lot of time missing some of her things during my scouting though I tried not to miss too much and, to spend extra time with her. Not having my son in the program anymore for several years wasn’t so bad for awhile, but it’s also changed my feelings unexpectedly. I really put alot into scouting and expected to just keep on keeping on with it for many years. My son had all ready moved onto Varsity then Venturing, but he still had kept coming on our campouts with some of the older boys until that group had dwindled and moved on. I knew this would happen eventually, I had even deliberately let my son take his time getting his Eagle done. When he told me he didn’t really want to come out on our campouts anymore, because the older kids all moved on and didn’t come anymore, and the kids now coming were so much younger than him, it was heart breaking for me. My heart went out of it. I also really didn’t want to go to scout camp anymore, and leave my family without having my son there with me. He was moving on. And now, I realized, so was I.
I also wanted to be freer to be more of a parent volunteer with my kid’s activities in school. With scouts, I was just too busy to help out at school much, though I am a VP on my homeowner’s board and love helping with that. Also, my wife’s health is downhill at this point, she’s been working closely with her doctor to get her health back, and she hasn’t been able to be as supportive as in the past and I feel guilty not being around more to help her with the house and the kids. These were all little “wakeup calls” that pushed me to really reflect, pray, about where everything was at, at this very point in time.
But I would keep doing scouting anyway if that’s what the Lord wanted me to do.
I felt bad about all this but I knew the tough choice had to be made. I had to minimize my involvement, not be away on weekends and scout camp, let someone else take the wheel for awhile, but I could still help in scouting in other ways. My training and experience were too valuable to cold turkey shelf it all–I would still be a registered merit badge counselor and adult volunteer– I could still help the boys alot.
So when I expressed all this to my Bishop, I offered to stay on as a Varsity/Venturer advisor (we don’t have anyone helping there) and help our older boys with their advancement in scouting towards Eagle, something that I have mentioned to him having someone else be called to before (which never happened.) The older boy programs in our ward aren’t really too good and don’t support the boys even though they want to finish their Eagles. I don’t believe it’s just up to the parents and the boys to finish Eagle. They need to be prodded, reminded, pushed a little, and supported.
I knew as did my Bishop, full well, that there are several men in our ward who have the time and aptitude/disposition for scouting and were in a position to step in and take the helm for awhile.
I was dismayed though, when my Bishop was visibly displeased and instead of a nod or even the smallest comiseration, he instead gave me the “Lord makes callings and Lord makes releases” lecture and decried me for “forcing your release”.
I was floored. I was thinking to myself, “With all that I’ve told you…and, you just returned from a 3 week family vacation [seriously!]…and my family had to miss their 3rd summer vacation in a row because of scouts and you’re telling me this?!” My family and I are always early at any church activity and meeting, always showing up to help… when we moved into this ward, I took a neglected shambles of a scouting program and turned things around. I built a wonderful ward scout committee, a roster of merit badge counselors to help our boys, a ward flag fundraiser which helped pay for almost all of scout camp…had planned good and organized activities including high adventure backpacking trips…did troop training for the boys and got them involved in troop leadership, all this!!!
and, didn’t personal revelation have anything to do with my asking to be released?
I think the Lord tells us and works through us and lets us know when we need to make a change in direction or focus in our lives, and that sometimes requires proactivity on our part whether or not our church leadership is always in tune or agreement with us when we are so convicted of what we must do and know it is right. I don’t agree with over-passivity being a member of this church–we are supposed to take an active role in our own salvation.
While I don’t recommend asking to be released from a church calling, sometimes, that’s just what needs to happen. I’ll admit, sometimes that’s what needs NOT to happen. When you are called on a two year mission or a 5-6 year calling as Bishop, you’ve got to see it through!
I had to work through a less than enthusiastic Bishopric (the Bishop even told me he “has problems with scouting” –even as an Eagle Scout and Order of the Arrow member himself. He’s a pretty good guy and has a great family, maybe he also needs to learn on this learning curve of life a little and I am a reminder to him of that? it’s hasn’t been the easiest job for me fulfilling the calling he gave me. (er, the Lord). Appeal for help and intervention, mostly ignored. I know Bishops are busy with other fires to put out.
Despite all that, I kept on and those irritations were not ultimately the reasons “I threw in the towel.”
I have a lot of personal things on my family plate to take care of right now. I need to regroup and take care of some things I’ve had to neglect that the Lord wants me to take care of.
I’m glad my own sense and testimony are not being run roughshod. Scouting is a very open ended calling– not a limited definite time term. I never committed to serving any specific time period, though I’m sure that was the expectation and hope. I gave it a lot of love and hard work overall for nine years– that’s what really matters, not some lack of sensitivity on a leader’s part–or oversensitivity on mine.
thanks for listening! sincerely, Sean McLaughlin
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August 5, 2010 at 4:32 pm
ama49
Hi Sean,
Thank you for stopping by and thank you for your hear-felt and honest experience.
It sounds like the Bishop spoke without taking time to seek the will of the Lord himself. For him to reply like that without taking time to think, ponder, and pray about a decision in humility leads me to believe he spoke his own will and not God’s.
You have the ultimate responsiblity for caring for your family. No one can give you revelation on how to best do that other than God himself. It sounds like you live your life in a way that God speaks to you. Personally, I respect your example for following what God spoke to you and not blindly following the Bishop’s orders. I am sure you and your family will be blessed for it.
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April 2, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Ed
I agree that most of the time we should accept our callings. All callings are prayed about, but not every single one is going to be pure inspiration and that you have to be in it. But, we are a lay ministry. No one is paid, and every calling needs to be filled to have the church run smoothly. When we are willing to accept callings even though we may not prefer it or even love it, we are helping further the church and will be blessed for our service. I was Primary President for a while and it was hard to get people to accept primary and scout callings. People would feel they were above a certain position, or shouldn’t have to do that. But, we should all take turns. Someone needs to fill that calling, and why shouldn’t it be you for a while. Whether it is inspired or not, you are serving others and helping the church accomplish it’s purpose.
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