President Gordon B Hinckley once said:
As each man or woman walks the way of life there come dark seasons of doubt, of discouragement, of disillusionment…(April 2002 General Conference)
It was a dark day for me when I found out I was suffering from depression. I had heard of depression and heard of others in my family suffering from depression, but I had always considered it a sign of weakness and proudly thought I would never have to deal with it. But dealing with it was the only option in this dark season of my life.
After I found out I was suffering, I attacked it like I would a research paper. I studied about various ways to overcome depression and asked doctors, others who had depression and listened to tons of self-help CDs and read many books as well. As I peeled the layers back to discover why I had depression and anxiety (I was suffering from panic attacks as well) I found out the type of issues I had happen fairly often with people who as young children came from broken homes. I started dealing with overcoming those issues.
To make a long story short, it was about a 2 year quest before I figured out how to control my anxiety and depression. There are way more details to this story, but the main purpose for this post was to offer some tips to those who may be suffering from anxiety and depression that have helped me be able to overcome anxiety and depression either as a supplement to medication or without using medication at all.
Steps to Overcoming Anxiety and Depression
1. Desire to Overcome
I had an intense desire to overcome anxiety and depression. I wanted my normal life back and held an image of that in my mind. This desire led me to complete the other steps.
2. Faith in God
Alma Chapter 34: 32-34 was what kept me moving ahead. It reads:
32 For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors.
33 And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed.
34 Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world.
3. Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety
A friend of mine told me about this program and how they had been able to overcome anxiety and depression without medication. I had tried taking medication, but it didn’t feel right to me so I quit. This program was a very useful tool for me and I still refer to it often. I highly recommend it to anyone dealing with anxiety and/or depression. If you go to the main website, it costs a ton of money. You can get a less expensive used version of the program called “Attacking Anxiety and Depression by clicking here.
4. Talking with a coach or mentor.
Many people who deal with certain issues from their childhood such as I did with abandonment develop negative addictions. For me, talking with clergy was somewhat helpful, but bishops aren’t usually trained to handle these issues. I was referred to a different program that helped me overcome my addictions and also train my thoughts. Bishops know where these resources are. If you are not a member of the LDS church, you can also look up various agencies such as: alcoholics anonymous, sex addicts anonymous, etc. I think they have organizations for people who use drugs, have eating addictions, etc. I believe that most of these programs will have a 12-step approach. I found these to be very, very helpful.
5. Prayer
Again in Alma 34, it talks about praying for everything important in one’s life. This links back to step #2, but I can’t emphasize enough how important faith in God and prayer are. Through this experience I learned how God cares about me personally…especially when I’m at my “worst”. I say this in quotes because we are never bad in God’s sight, no matter how good or bad our behaviors are he views us and loves us the same.
In addition, I found that through prayer, God led me to other steps to overcome anxiety and depression.
I am very grateful to God for the gift of prayer and know that miracles happen as a result of sincere, humble, faithful prayers and patience.
6. Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP)
NLP is another tool I used to clear my subconscious mind. I worked with two coaches who used NLP on me to clear negative experiences I had seared into my subconscious mind that were affecting my behaviors. This is another highly recommended tool. To find an NLP specialist, you can do a google search in your area. That’s how I found mine. I worked with Tony Husted, a Christian Coach from a non-denominational church and his biblical approach was very helpful.
7. Learning to control thoughts
Proverbs 23:7 says: “as he (or she) thinks in his (or her) heart, so is he (or she)”. This is true. I think this is something all of us will be working on throughout our lives. However, learning to control our thoughts is essential. I wrote another post a couple of months ago on how to overcome negative thoughts and provided a few techniques I use. The post is called “The Gifts of the Spirit: Overcoming Negative Thoughts and Speaking with the Tongue of Angels”
8. Have a daily routine
Having a daily routine helps me a lot. I notice that I do much better when in a familiar environment surrounded with positive things. For me, this is my daily routine: Wake up, pray, excercise, read scriptures, make breakfast for my wife, think about daily goals, work, come home and either relax or do house chores, etc., read scriptures with wife, pray, go to bed. Sticking to this schedule keeps me focused and my attitude stays much more positive.
8. Eat Right
Eating a lot of healthy breads, fruits, protein, and some meat has helped me a lot. Staying away from sugar and caffeine is essential as well. I’ve found that the promise in the Word of Wisdom is true in that I receive more health by following its counsel.
9. Keep a Gratitude Journal
I keep track of all the positive things that happened to me and at the end of the day I write them down. This keeps me in a positive state and away from dwelling on the negative.
10. Listen to Relaxing Music
I have a lot of relaxation music and when I find myself getting anxious I listen to it, even if it’s in the middle of the day. Taking 10-20 minutes to pause and unwind is very helpful. Going to sleep with it also helps me completely relax and I’ve found I sleep much more soundly.
In conclusion, I know that if you are struggling with anxiety and/or depression how hard it can be. Some of you may be on medication and that might be necessary or even mandatory for you, which is fine. My main purpose is to share some things that have helped me and I encourage you to incorporate any of these things, if you haven’t already. Also, please feel free to share any additional things that have helped you so other readers can benefit from it.
I also want my readers to know that I know that God hears your prayers and will answer them in due time. I’ve learned to be grateful for my experiences with anxiety and depression because I’ve learned how dependant I truly am on God and have see how great His hand can be in my life if I stay close to Him. I pray that we can all stay close to our Father in Heaven and know that if we do, he’ll lead us through the dark and discouraging times on our lives.
Nice post. I like the Alma quote. I also deal with depression and use many of the same tactics as you such as eating right, controlling my thoughts, prayer, routine, and relaxation. I also think exercise helps (you mentioned that in your routine). I’ve started knitting within the past year and have found that extremely helpful.
Also, I wanted to mention to your readers that if they have a specific type of depression (like me) called seasonal affective disorder, investing in a sun lamp might be a good idea. I also found cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to be helpful. And my treatment includes medication, and I feel it’s necessary for me to receive it.
It’s hard dealing with a chronic illness – especially one with such awful stigma surrounding it. There is no one “right way” for dealing with depression and anxiety so it’s interesting to see what has helped other people.
im also dealing with anxiety stress i just had a baby but i cant stay active with a child looking for answers
Thanks so much for these wonderfull tools and comments for helping me to over come my depression. This has been such a great help to me.
Ama,
Wonderful observations and suggestions worth contemplating. Thank you for sharing your experience. Depression is common to most (if not all) of us.
You mention a number of “secular” approaches to depression. These can be useful tools, of course; we can learn a lot from how others cope with various emotions. I wonder if elements of these can actually be found in the Bible… (I don’t have the answer to this; I’m just wondering out loud.)
As for a strictly Biblical approach, these thoughts come to mind.
If I am depressed, I
1) Remember that depression is not a sin; it is a human emotion that is tied in with our human condition. Ecclesiastes 3 mentions that there is “a time for everything in its season.” Depression has its time. We might be “up” one moment and “down” the next. If God brings me joy, which I eagerly accept, shall I not also receive my lot of sadness when it comes? I shall accept this, even as I work my way out of this “slump.”
2) Recognize that I am a sinner. This may seem contradictory to statement #1; it may also shock many readers, because we are conditioned to nurture “self-esteem.” Self-esteem, however, is really about making an idol out of myself. There is nothing worthy in me, on my own. That is a truth that we eventually realize; when we realize this, we fall into despair–sometimes with catastrophic results. By recognizing that I am nothing on my own, I repent of my sins, even my doubts, and look to the mercy of God.
3) Rely on the mercy of God. In Psalm 91, Moses reminds us that God “knows that we are dust.” The heart of Scripture tells how God sets about to redeem us. If depression is tied in with our mortal, human condition, then we will find joy in knowing that God has done all things to redeem our lives from sin, death and the power of the devil.
4) Remember that I am loved by God. “God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) This knowledge is more wonderful than we could ever know. Depression is like a living death–it consumes you, even as you are seemingly powerless to act. If this is a good comparison, then we will find great hope in remembering that Jesus is “the Resurrection and the Life.” As surely as Jesus is the source of our hope for eternal life, I find great strength in knowing that Jesus is able to conquer the depression that seeks to consume me. Scripture tells me that Jesus IS life, which I have now and eternally.
5) More Scripture: If depression tries to separate you from joy and hope and reason to live, then recall the promise of God, given in Romans chapter eight: “Who shall separate us from the love of God?” Bottom line: NOTHING can separate us from the love of God, which is IN Christ Jesus.
6) Prayer – Yes. Prayer is a work of faith. You will not call on God if you did not have faith that God is there. This faith is a gift of God, granted by the Holy Spirit. If God has begun something in your heart, he will work to bring it to completion, for the sake of Jesus Christ.
God urges us: “Call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you and you shall glorify me.” Jesus urged his disciples to pray in his name, promising that the Father would give us that which we seek in his name. Furthermore, Jesus said that the Father and he would then make their home among us. If God comes to dwell with me, how can I be down? God provides me with his real presence; and the presence of God cannot help but comfort me. Recall that Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit enters our lives as “the Comforter,” he who transforms our lives and makes us holy and acceptable unto God.
Therefore, the prayer I pray is that God would strengthen me in my faith. (Lord, I believe; help me in my unbelief!) When I am strengthened in my faith, I will trust in God all the more. As I trust in him, I know that God will lift me up, in due time, that I may praise his name.
Psalm 103
1 Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
As someone who also deals with depression and anxiety, I would be more comfortable if this post were not presented as an alternative to medication. For many people, medication may be the most appropriate and realistic way to fight their symptoms.
While your suggestions are great, I think they should be considered supplemental to competent, professional treatment–which may or may not include medication.
This is a good tip full of helpful advice, but I have to ask, is there a reason people who take medicine can’t implement and use the same tips. Is doing this without medication superior to doing it with medication? Why wouldn’t you do both if it was the best way to get better?
Doc,
You are probably talking to Ama, since he has said so many wonderful and helpful things! As you suggest, implementation of such practices would be good for those on medication or not.
As for my post, I hope I did not imply that a person should shun medical remediation for depression and simply follow biblical precepts. Scripture is the source and norm of our faith and Christian life. Even as Scripture is authoritative, God has also blessed us with so many good things to deal with a variety of our physical needs. We have a great God who has called people to serve in a variety of ways.
Medication is a necessity for some people. I have seen people on and off medication and it is the difference between night and day. I leave the realm of medication to those who are professionals in that field and steeped in the art!
With a moniker of “Doc,” that would probably include you!
: )
Blessings in your work!
Eric Zacharias
#3 and #4
Thank you for bringing this up. In no way is taking medication to be viewed as something inferior. Maybe I should clarify by saying for me medication didn’t feel right and so I didn’t do it. I do have close members of my family who can’t deal with things w/o medication.
I think it is very good advice to utilize this as a supplement and/or in conjunction with medication. I’ll take the “without Medication” part out of the title as a result because I think you bring up a very good point. thank you.
#2
I appreciate your comments as well on how you can implement faith with it.
Depression is definitely a tool satan uses more and more in this day and age to steal, destroy, and kill. I am amazed at how many religious people suffer from this dis-ease. As a mormon I felt I could never live up to everything I was asked to do in order to get back to God. So the feeling of not being good enough happened all the time.
Anxiety has been controlled for me by reading psalms and realizing I am no longer opressed. But rather free!
I am so glad you have learned how to get past your struggle as well. It is a rough road and can sometimes take many years if not a lifetime so kudos to you AMA.
I wanted to also share with you that it can come across the wrong way to say you overcame it without meds. However, don’t we all want to overcome without the help of drugs. I mean it makes you no better of a person, just simply a winning outcome for you. Congrats. Everyone’s body chemistry and makeup is different. We can not decide that this is the one area we all of a sudden need to be compared the same.
That would be like feeling like a failure if your wife needed an epidural during delivery while your sister didn’t.
congrats again and thanks for the tips
Nice post and I like the Alma quote. It’s hard living with a chronic illness like depression and anxiety. I use many of the tactics you mentioned, along with medication to treat my depression. Sometimes I think I’m lucky to have developed so many coping mechanisms that people without depression don’t have. I also find that knitting, making collages, exercising, and keeping a good sleep schedule are helpful.
I also encourage anyone who notices a seasonal tendency to their symptoms to ask their physician or therapist about seasonal affective disorder. This is what I have and I am depressed only during the winter and never during the summer. Light boxes are often used to treat this type of depression.
I think it’s important that someone gets treatment, not how they get the treatment. And I congratulate anyone who has found enough strength to seek treatment. Personally I had a very hard time accepting that I couldn’t deal with it on my own.
ht – I find that statements like “Depression is definitely a tool satan uses more and more in this day and age to steal, destroy, and kill. I am amazed at how many religious people suffer from this dis-ease” increase stigma against people with mental health issues. It seems to suggest that people with depression, etc. are too weak to resist Satan or that they have committed some horrible sin. Religious or not, most people with chronic depression are probably genetically predisposed to depression and that combined with environmental factors causes the illness to express itself. Depression is no one’s fault, not even Satan’s.
Sunrise Tantalize
#2
I just read the Psalm and want to thank you for sharing that. It is an excellent Psalm and is very good in relation to this post.
#7
Thanks for the heads up on the comment about the meds. For me personally I felt I could do it without them and people that have anxious tendencies like me are nervous to take the meds anyways! : )
In regards to your comments about the Mormon church, I can understand how you feel. I notice that when I set huge expectations for myself in work, relationships, church, etc. that it often leads to anxiety. The CD’s I suggested have a whole session on lowering our expectations that is very helpful. I’ve found that when I lower my expectations as far as church service and realize that no matter what, God loves me and always will, that I feel grateful and I feel the Spirit more abundantly in my life.
Thanks for the kind words and encouragement as well.
ama49,
Thanks for clearing up the confusion on your stand with regard to taking medication. I was afraid it might become a faith issue in which only those with weaker faith would take prescribed medications. So, I’m glad this didn’t go that route.
Since I believe that only God can create, He, through medical science, has given us medication that will help with mental health issues, as well as physical issues. However, as with everything good that comes from God, Satan gets in there and spoils it, which we see in addictions. So, there is caution that needs to be heeded.
So, thanks for a helpful post. And, thanks to Eric Z. for your input, as well.
PapilioMemon (http://www.lds.net/PapilioMemnon) wrote:
I read your post, and those are good suggestions.
A few years ago, I found this talk on BYUradio.org – Find a Talk, and listened to it quite a few times… and it made a HUGE difference as I followed her advice, and it helped me deal with the things I was struggling with.
Audio Formats – Christ-centered Healing from Depression and Low Self-Worth – Carrie Wrigley
(http://www.byub.org/findatalk/details.asp?ID=5442)
Unfortunately, it don’t come in text format
Just another suggestion!
DiscoDan (http://www.lds.net/discoDan) wrote:
My Depression/anxiety is in remission, and I found that Control was the problem, not the cure. I found that my expectations were that “I should not feel sad”, and “I must not have negative thoughts toward myself”. I started a therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with a resident psychiatrist down in Tucson, Arizona. This therapy basically suggests that if we are willing to experience “negative” experiences, then we don’t worry about them, because we expect them. It’s like if you go to Vegas, and aren’t expecting to see inappropriate pictures, then it will catch them off guard and their experience will probably be horrible. But, if you expect to see that, then you won’t be shocked and will probably ignore the vulgarity, and have the experience you were expecting to. It’s the same with feelings and thoughts; if you’re expecting them, then it’s fine.
Anyways, these are my thoughts. This therapy has helped me.
Cheers,
Disco Dan
You left off the most important part of Psalm 103. Verse 6: He executes righteousness and judgement for you against oppression. You are free.
Hey Ama…. great post. I think a key is the determination you write about that motivated you to find solutions to your depression.
Like you, my cultural influences shamed me away from acknowledging depression and anxiety. We were encouraged to toughen up. Suck it up. Whatever. But nobody knew that those of us who suffer from depression and anxiety needed to call it for what it was and face it for what it was.
If we are not real about the fact that we do not produce insulin because we have “diabetese”, we can never properly address this ailment. If we brushed the symptoms off as the flu or something else, we would not ever get better.
Similarly, we need to acknowledge the depression and anxiety that keep us sick in these ways and address them with specific therapies, remedies, training, prescritptions, whatever it takes for us as individuals to overcome these ailments for what they are.
Like you, I sought out many, many avenues over years to find the ones that were right for my version of depression and anxiety. For me it is a combination of the 12 Steps, a more practical understanding of the Bible, exercise, reading, sharing, blogging, and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. This is the formula that works for me and it is awesome!
The freedom as I am sure you can relate is amazing. The 12 promises of AA include that “We will know a new freedom and new happiness”! I am happy to report that this promise has been delivered to me.
I do not need medication but that does not mean others don’t. Others need to do what works for them.
Month by month, I feel more and more free from the prison of my emotions. This is a great thing!
Luke 4:16 includes Jesus proclaiming that… “He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted”.
What could that possibly mean besides the emotionally hurt? Depression has been around forever. And it is clear to me that God cares about this. In Jesus’ own words it is confirmed.
Thanks for the post.
Ciao.
Chaz
Thanks, Aaron, for a really good post. I’ve been dealing with what my first psychiatrist called “chronic major depression” for 20 years. Just got out of a session with a new therapist who thinks it’s more about anxiety. I’m new to this and from I’ve already read, the anxiety could be from years of benzos. All I know is that I’m feeling some hope for the first time in years.
Hi Lee,
wow, I’m sorry that you’ve been dealing with things for so long, but good job for hanging in there and not giving up. That takes a lot of courage and patience. What exactly is helping you feel hope and how do you plan to maintain that hope?
[...] from my early childhood. One of my most often read posts is the one I wrote last year about overcoming anxiety and depression. I’m grateful that God has been able to reach so many people through my experiences and I [...]
thank for the post, it was really helpful for me, i am a mother of 11 mons old boy, and i am suffering of anxiety and it was very diifucult for me especialy during my work and the night time.
I am so grateful the one who post is a member of lds, this will be big helped for me to overcome this difficulty in my life.
Thank you and keep me posted.
Devina
Hi Devina,
Thanks for stopping by. I hope some of what you read here is helping you with your struggles.
My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Thank you, thank you THANK YOU SO much for this post!! Honestly, sometimes I feel like I have no one to relate to about the things going on in my mind. Coming here has not only made me realize that I’m not alone, but has also given me much needed HOPE for a brighter future.
*happy exhale*
Ok, I don’t understand how you mean “Get your old life back.” For me, this is all I know. I’ve never lived without being terrified and depressed.
Unfortunately, this didn’t help.
[...] the third year in a row, the most viewed post by far is the one I wrote in 2008 entitled “10 Steps to Recover from Anxiety and Depression“. I am very glad this has helped so many thousands of people throughout the years and hope [...]
Thanks a lot for the article.
for the last two years I have suffered from Anxiety. Its breathing that worries me and eating. I choose not to go to public restaurants because I feel like I am going to choke. I sit there worrying about it, that Im afraid Im going to do it. I do not take medication, I hate not feeling in control. Things prior to anxiety that didnt bother me, makes me stress out.
going to the dentist. The thought that they will have to numb me up, where I cant concentrate on breathing/swallowing is enough reason not to go. Im lost and am not sure what I need to do. My Anxiety has gone down in the past 4 months and I am thankful for that.
Its a problem I have to deal with everyday, do you have any more suggestions on overcoming it that does not involve religion? For I do not believe in 1 God, or 1 specific God. I live my life morally right and I am fine with that. Your advice would be appreciated, thank you
Hi LostShyrell,
I am not a trained psychologist, but a common old Joe off the street so take my advice for what it’s worth!
Although I am not trained, I have suffered anxiety and can relate to you. What have you tried so far to help you overcome your anxiety? Also, have you discovered what triggered the anxiety?
There are more useful topics here. I will follow you every day for updates. Thank you.
im 44 i have depression and anixty but im also disabled dose anyone have disability
Good article. I should say i also have problems connected with my instable moral state. I try to practice some of the techniques described in the article and hope i will feel better. Success to everybody who suffers from this problem and is trying to overcome it!
[...] and Depression – 5 Ways the Core Energy Meditation Can Help Overcoming Anxiety And Depression10 Steps to Overcoming Anxiety and Depression .broken_link, a.broken_link { text-decoration: line-through; [...]
[...] has been overcoming addictions, anxiety, and depression, which I’ve written about here and here. In this post, I won’t spend any more time reflecting on the trial, rather, I will discuss [...]
[...] this article from Grace for Grace————————–>10 Steps to Overcoming Anxiety and Depression addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fovercominganxietyguide.org%2Fguide-overcoming-anxiety-depression-2'; [...]
I’m a believer that God can do anything…I always thought myself a strong, confident, professional woman…able 2 balance work, children, spouse n friends….it all came 2 a halt after a car accident…this is year 3 post accident n I am diagnosed with situational depression and anxiety…the side affects are worse than the depression…I don’t want 2 take another pill!
I’m not sure my family gets it…I can’t afford not to be on top of my game for my children’s sake!…I’m struggling to keep it together…I pray for guidance I knowGod can get me through this…PLEASE LORD! I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE I CAN HANDLE!..THANK YOU FOR YOUR PROMISES!!!
Thank you for this.