Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Tell me more about what you mean that you have an imbalance and therefore can’t go into the temple?

This is a very good addition to the conversation even though it’s a few years ago. Thank you for stopping by and leaving this. I have to say I agree with Brigham Young on those points. God is the judge and we shouldn’t feel like we have to run to clergy to obtain forgiveness.

That being said, do you feel there are certain “big” sins we should go to clergy for such as fornication, murder, drugs, etc.? Or do you think confessing to God is enough for all sins regardless of how “big’ they are?

Brigham Young, 10 March 1860:—“I believe in coming out and being plain and honest with that which should be made public, and in keeping to yourselves that which should be kept. If you have your weaknesses, keep them hid from your brethren as much as you can. You never hear me ask the people to tell their follies. But when we ask the brethren, as we frequently do, to speak in sacrament meetings, we wish them, if they have injured their neighbours, to confess their wrongs; but do not tell about your nonsensical conduct that nobody knows of but yourselves. Tell to the public that which belongs to the public. If you have sinned against the people, confess to them. If you have sinned against a family or a neighbourhood, go to them and confess. If you have sinned against your Ward, confess to your Ward. If you have sinned against one individual, take that person by yourselves and make your confession to him. And if you have sinned against your God, or against yourselves, confess to God, and keep the matter to yourselves, for I do not want to know anything about it. . . . Keep your follies that do not concern others to yourselves, and keep your private wickedness as still as possible; hide it from the eyes of the public gaze as far as you can, and make the people believe that you are filled with the wisdom of God. I wish to say this upon this particular point in regard to people’s confessing. We wish to see people honestly confess as they should and what they should.” (In Journal of Discourses, vol. 8 [Liverpool: George Q. Cannon, 1861], p. 362.)

Brigham Young, 9 November 1856:—“Confess your faults to the individuals that you ought to confess them to, and proclaim them not on the house tops. Be careful that you wrong not yourselves. Do you not know that if a good person is guilty of committing a crime he thinks that everybody knows it, and is ready to confess here, and there, and everywhere he has an opportunity? I do not want to know anything about the sins of this people, at least no more than I am obliged to. If persons lose confidence in themselves, it takes away the strength, faith and confidence that others have in them; it leaves a space that we call weakness. If you have committed a sin that no other person on the earth knows of, and which harms no other one, you have done a wrong and sinned against your God, but keep that within your own bosom, and seek to God and confess there, and get pardon for your sin. If children have sinned against their parents, or husbands against their wives, or wives against their husbands, let them confess their faults one to another and forgive each other, and there let the confession stop; and then let them ask pardon from their God. Confess your sins to whoever you have sinned against, and let it stop there. If you have committed a sin against the community, confess to them. If you have sinned in your family, confess there. Confess your sins, iniquities, and follies, where that confession belongs, and learn to classify your actions. Suppose that the people were to get up here and confess their sins, it would destroy many innocent persons. Does Texas know about it? No, nor you about one another, if you will be wise and confess your wrongs where they ought to be confessed, and keep the knowledge of them from every person it ought to be kept from. In this way you will have strength against the enemy, who would otherwise buffet you and say, ‘Here is your wickedness made manifest,’ and would overcome you and destroy all the confidence you have in yourselves and in your God. If the Lord has confidence in you, preserve it, and take a course to produce more.” (In Journal of Discourses, vol. 4 [Liverpool: S. W. Richards, 1857], pp. 78–79.)

Brigham Young, 4 January 1852:—“Some men who have been ordained unto the Priesthood and [who] are very high in authority, will take the name of God in vain, and swear by this and that. Do such persons suppose that the Church can forgive that sin? If you do, your hope is vain. They can never forgive that sin! No man can do it. None but God alone [can forgive that sin], and it never will be forgiven, until He does it. . . . If you sin against God and take the name of God in vain, if you get forgiveness, it will have to be forgiven by Him and not from man. . . . If you take the name of God in vain, I will not forgive it, for I cannot. . . . If you blaspheme the name of God, don’t ask this people to forgive you, for they cannot do it. You may ask them to pray [to] God to [have Him] forgive you. . . . Now brethren, if you sin against God, go to God to get forgiveness. . . . If you sin against your brother, go to him to get forgiveness. Ask forgiveness at the hands of the innocent. If you sin against your family, your parents, your husband, your wife, [or] your children, seek forgiveness at their hands. But what is done in secret, should be forgiven in secret and go no further, that sins may be hid. But if sins are committed openly, they should ask forgiveness and be forgiven openly. These are true principles and let them be remembered forever.” (Teachings of President Brigham Young; vol. 3 [Salt Lake City, Utah: Collier’s Publishing Co., October 1987]; pp. 6–7, 8, 9.)

I had a girlfriend before who I felt I went too far with. We never had sex, but we had done some things (i.e. removing each others’ clothes) which I thought needed to be confessed to the Bishop. I set up an appointment and talked to him about it. He asked me if I was sorry for what I had done. I said I was. He asked if I was going to do it again. I said no. I thought for sure he was going to tell me I couldn’t go to the temple or take the sacrament for a while. But he didn’t. In fact, he told me that the sooner I went to the temple the better. I remember when I left his office that Sunday afternoon I had this overwhelming sense of peace flowing through me. I have been trying to figure out ever since if I actually even needed to talk to him about it. Considering that there was no formal disciplinary action taken, did I really need to confess what I had done? The answer I keep getting back is yes. Because even though there was no formal punishment or anything, I gained a peace of mind and a sense of forgiveness that I hadn’t been able to get up to that point. I don’t know if I would ever have been able to feel that sense of relief if I had never talked to him because I would have always wondered.

Basically, what I learned from that experience was that I cannot deny the spirit that I’m feeling. If the spirit is nudging me to tell the Bishop something, I need to do it. We all have the light of Christ and we all know when we’ve gone too far. It’s not something that can be explained because every individual is different. But it’s better to be safe than sorry, isn’t it? I want to get married in the temple. If I do something with my fiancee that could in ANY way jeopardize my worthiness to enter the temple, I need to tell the Bishop. (By the way, that’s another key. If what you are doing or have done might prevent you from worthily entering the temple, you probably should talk to the Bishop). I don’t want to enter the temple HOPING that I’m worthy to be there. I want to enter KNOWING that I am. I don’t want to take the Sacrament on Sunday HOPING that I am worthy to do so. I want to do it KNOWING that I am.

I think that anybody who tries to rationalize and say they don’t need to talk to the Bishop, and says stuff like, “Well, people talk to the Bishop too much about stuff they shouldn’t anyway” are in most cases ignoring what the Spirit is telling them.

The author of Hebrews makes comments about how exponentially greater Jesus is than any of what the Hebrews thought highly of, ie. the law, Moses, Joshua, angels, priesthoods etc…

They finally confessed when they were very old. They went in to see their bishop and told him what they had done many decades earlier, and they wondered if they could be forgiven for a sin that they had carried around so long without confessing to the proper authority.

The bishop, after hearing their confession frankly told them that they had been forgiven long before, and that he wished that they would’ve confessed to their bishop earlier just so they wouldn’t have to carry around the burden of guilt for so many years.

I have never walked out of a bishop’s office after having confessed various indiscretions without feeling better about myself and my relationship with the Lord afterwards.

Men are that they might have joy. The Lord wants us to be happy. Confession to a bishop, when appropriate, helps to facilitate that.